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My greatest challenge was yet to come though.
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Once I sort of got comfortable in my own skin, my approach to dating was based on an inherent desire for love and companionship rather than just mere sex and fun. Meeting guys with the same agenda soon became a nightmare and eventually, a borderline lost cause. The first guy I ever dated — met on a fairly popular site — turned into a two-month-long story until he ghosted me.
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Being my first experience ever, the effect was shattering on my self-esteem, as he just used me to rebound after a long-time relationship gone wrong. The following two years, my last ones in America, only featured some online flirting. We awkwardly bumped into each other a month later, outside the tube station.
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He then texted me that night how we just wanted different things and that I was amazing and deserved better, apologising for not having the guts to tell me face to face. Too little too late but I appreciated the gesture, for a change.
Plus I gained a better understanding of how being honest with yourself and with others is the key to dating. After another period of radio silence, I started using a couple of apps and sites again which only led to further disappointment.
We are different on many levels but we had a few important things in common: We feature thousands of smart, modern gay singles looking to find their perfect match. Our unique privacy and moderation policies make messaging and meeting potential Soulmates simple, secure and stress-free.
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Discover gay singles looking for meaningful relationships online on Guardian Soulmates. Soulmates is a welcoming community, full of like-minded people who are looking for something more than a swipe.
If you are new to online dating or want to find out more about the online dating scene then check out the Soulmates Blog for great tips and advice and to hear from gay couples who've found love through Soulmates. Gary, 35, is a social work manager living in the West Country.
He was born with cerebral palsy; a disability that affects mobility and balance.